Read in August 2010
Many new characters, bit part cast members, introduced in this episode, and just like their infamous red shirted ST:TOS forebearers, they dropped like flies before the credits rolled. I felt disconnected from most of the characters, with the exception of Modina and Wesley. The plot jerked, jumped and ultimately crumbled. Not even the expected banter between Royce and Hadrian could inspire a smile.
The acute flowering romance between Arista and her lifelong bodyguard caused me to cringe for I felt not a twinge of sympathetic desire, nor compassion at the abrupt end to the fledgling relationship. Wesley’s self-sacrificial demise stirred an empathetic flutter in my heart, however briefly.
So many unanswered questions, characters and subplots snipped prematurely, puzzle pieces scattered to the winds and time for all I can see. Not sure I care at this point in the series.
The copyright page listed the editors (story and copy editors) by name, which I found odd. Not to disparage the hard work of those individuals, but perhaps a few more eyes before going to press to polish plot and style might have helped.
Interesting side note: The author’s wife recently announced he was seeking an agent in an effort to move from a small press to one of the New York publishing houses. I wish him well, because, if nothing else, a professional editor at a large press publisher will be a boon to both the author and us, his readers.
GR Status Updates:
|08/13/2010||page 22||6.0%||“I didn’t expect that plot twist, but I haven’t missed the prevalent passive voice.”|
|08/14/2010||page 42||11.0%||“The banter between Hadrian, Royce and Gwen seems stilted.”|
|08/14/2010||page 60||16.0%||“Contest mighty convenient and unconvincing; and we’re already sailing.”|
|08/14/2010||page 97||26.0%||“Positivity passively overly adverbly.” 2 comments|
|08/14/2010||page 124||33.0%||“Last chapter nearly all dialogue; adage ‘Show, don’t tell’ comes to mind.”|
|08/15/2010||page 160||43.0%||“If only I cared about these characters . . . at least the last couple of chapters seemed better edited.”|
|08/16/2010||page 204||54.0%||“Action increased last few chapters, lessening passive voice.”|
|08/16/2010||page 239||64.0%||“Instead of ‘Waiting inside were four Tenkins.’ why not ‘Four Tenkins waited inside.’??”|
|08/16/2010||page 248||66.0%||“Instead of ‘Groggy and confused, he soon passed out once more.’ why not ‘Groggy and confused, he passed out.’??”|
|08/16/2010||page 262||70.0%||“Fortune telling (and copy editing) nearly fatal.”|
|08/16/2010||page 268||71.0%||“Sentence fragment, I believe (see comment attached below).” 1 comment|
|08/17/2010||page 322||86.0%||“As you wish, Mr. Wesley.”|
|08/17/2010||page 354||94.0%||“Hadrian spouts colorful metaphors while chained behind cell door number three.”|